I like to think that one of the things you all like about this blog (when it’s being written in that is) is that I have always been open and frank with you. I have talked about my dark days and rough times.
I have been sick since the 20th of March, not your normal cold or flu but something that just drains ALL of my energy. I also get headaches and general aches and pains. There have been times when I can barely move with the pain, or times when it keeps me up at night. This has been dreadful, and degrading, I spend 5 out of 7 days barely able to move and the others I’m playing frantic catch-up. This is extremely rare occurrence for me because I usually have a very naturally high immune system, very rarely get sick and when I do it’s for a mater of days compared to other peoples weeks.
This only makes my depression worse no matter what medications I’m on, It makes me feel useless and pathetic, and like I’m incapable of doing the simplest things. Unfortunately this is a cycle the sicker I get the more I get depressed. I have to just get up and say NO I’m not pathetic, or useless just because I’m sick, everyone gets sick.
I just hope I get better… soon.
I hope you do too, sweetie. And when you *get* better, would you mind sharing a little of that better with me? I’m having a really dark patch myself. (((so much love)))
I get depressed when I’m flaring too. It is understandable but that doesn’t make it any easier. I can really relate to most of what you’ve said. Well, except for having ever been healthy.
I have to say that I have a really hard time being honest w/ anyone other than my partner about how I’m doing and that has left me very isolated. It is nice to see other people letting the people around them into their lives.
*Hugs*
Being sick is teh suck. It does help me to remember that the depression is BECAUSE I’m feeling so badly. I mean if I was not in pain, I’d probably still be prone to dark moods, but it’s way worse when you are either in pain or in desperate catch-up mode. XXOO
:-( whaaaaa
-Day-lite-[AKA 'FULL SPECTRUM'] light bulbs!!! :-)
SF by the beach can be foggy & overcast most everyday of the year. I used to be depressed ALL the time, with that OCD mind twist….. [depression = knife in the back, OCD = twist the knife] after learning about Seasonal Affective Disorder I made sure to stand near the window at least 30 min. per day, esp.when overcast. my depression let up in about a month and has NEVER been that bad sence I make sure I get sunlight from some source DAILY.
I put two 100 watt DAY-LITE light bulbs where I spend most of my time inside -even if it’s at the telly, if that;s where you spend most of your time- NO days off from light! a minimum of one hour a day of full-spectrum light can make the even a depression abyss shallow enough to bare.
If your sick in bed, move the DAY-LITE bulbs to a fixture nearest the bed.
Nobody deserves to feel depressed to that depth let alone endeafineately….
[of course now that i'm on an "endefinfeately extended urban camping trip" -AKA living out side- light bulbs are a moot point, AT LEAST I'M NOT DEPRESSED!] :-)
SIGNED:
mis-adventures of mz-melodie
ps: love you love you love you
PS that last depression was Dec. 31 about 1989.
Daily Full Spectrum Light Therapy
helps the frame of mind:
“Feelings Are NOT Facts” [slogan from 12-step programs]
instead of it’s depressing oppisite:
(ie I FEEL useless and pathetic [knife],
THEREFORE I AM useless and pathetic [twist])
hope things are looking better for you atm… Im going thru dark days myself really.. Cant knit, cant read, cant do much at all really, besides getting up and going to work thats my extent, Flaring sucks