I used to cut myself, it was the only way I could let the overwhelming pain flow from my body, the physical pain releasing the emotional pain. I used to do it in places no one would ever see along my inner thighs and my rib cage under my arms. One day I cut to deep and the bleeding was too much. I didn’t go to the hospital I didn’t want them to think I tried to kill myself. I was able to make the bleeding stop, and in that moment, I realised all of it had to stop. If I didn’t stop this cutting even that would begin to grow numb, and soon I would need to cut deeper and deeper, and maybe next time I wouldn’t be able to stop the bleeding. Or even worse I wouldn’t want to stop the bleeding. I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t easy and sometimes still when I feel emotionally frustrated I want the run a knife along my skin. But I don’t. I stop, because there are better ways to deal with emotions, and I deserve those better ways. I see that now.