This is A Ring

It came with a question while upon one knee…

The answer btw was yes!

Being green and devout.

I recently went to a very interesting lunchtime lecture at St Andrew’s on the Terrace called God, Gaia and Us by Lloyd Geering a really interesting New Zealand theologian. The lecture itself was primarily about how taking care of the earth was the most Christian thing you could do. I’m not Christian as many of you may know but I also have no issues with those that are thus why I was at the lecture.

It was really fascinating as  he talked though the history about how as the faiths changed our view and outlook on world changed. I sat back and just listened as Llyod explained about how the ancients polytheism  meant that they saw the earth as part of them. They respected everything part of natures in order not to cause offense to the god that was in charge of that item. They also believed that the gods walked among them, Because of all of these things we were connected to the planet all of it’s cycles and storms. As we slowly moved to monotheism from 200 CE to 1000 CE(which was the begining of a dark ages) our thought processes with from a living earth in which we were connected to, to a inanimate object that was the domain of satan and thus doomed. It was from this period on to the late nineteenth century that we created this idea that the earth didn’t matter, that it wasn’t important and thus no sins could be made against it.

I think what astounded me the most was that Llyod is a 90 year old minister and theologian and was saying Christianity kinda got it all wrong on this level and we need to be more like the Ancient Greeks and Romans. I believe he is on to something there and was very fascinated to hear what he had to say. He wasn’t saying we should all whorship 18 Gods and Goddess, but instead that perhaps God wasn’t to just be whorshipped in a church.

One of the best ways we can do the work of God and obey God is to take care of the earth he built. It is our responsibilty as the so called dominant species to make sure the earth is in good condition and well managed. Making sure to keep the air as clean as possible and that animals are protected when we need them. We cannot sit back and let more and more species become extinct. Just because we are the dominant species does not make us the most important one. There is a possibilty that many “Evangelical Christians” are too self centered to even contemplate. The possibility that if we don’t protect the earth and continue to help it thrive and thus respect the work of God that he very well may feel the need to have us removed for it’s own protection. That seems to be the path that we are headed to that one day the earth may reach a place that it cannot sustain human life and thus we may die off, leaving the world to the “lower species” again.

The Things We Do.

There is this YouTube animated video that has been around for awhile now, of a little kiwi who nails these trees to the side of a mountain. After he has all the trees where he needs them, he jumps over the edge of the cliff and pretends to fly. You see the look of joy and pleasure or being able to “fly” on his face as he stretches out his wings before fading into the mist. The ending is left vaguely open but you do hear a soft thud, which I have always understood as the poor kiwi’s death.

This video has always made me cry, it is so raw and brings up so many feelings in me. It makes me feel so real and understood. I feel like that kiwi a bird given wings two small to support my own weight and take to the air. Knowing fully well that I’m not the only one out there but that never really helps the the cause at hand. I also understand no matter how many time people bawlk and ghawf that sometimes you need to do what you need to do.

In my live there have been several of those need to do things in my life. the biggest and most shocking has probably been transition. This is my jumping off the cliff with trees nailed to it event in my life. People don’t seem to understand why I would do something so drastic. Why do you make yourself an outcast and leper to society when you could have gone on living how you were before. Living… that’s something I didn’t start doing until that July morning when I said “as of today I am going to live as female” and I did. See like the little kiwi I had to take that chance that I might die, lose my friend, lose my family, getting beaten up, or hurt all for even a days worth of feeling “right”.

I can clearly imagine the exhilaration of knowing this is how those seagulls and sparrows feel.  Knowing that even for within this moment thins are as they should be. You see I didn’t transition because I chose to, because I wanted to. I Transition despite not wanting to and because I HAD to. My choices were very limited death(if not by my own hand the just of my soul and spirit) or transition. I chose life. To be honest I don’t regret my choice at all. It isn’t always the easiest life, but it is an interesting and adventurous life. It has taken me to place and introduced me to people I would have never known otherwise. Is it the life I would have chosen? No, but someone’s got to do it, and it might as well be me.  I’m happy and to me that’s what counts.

More Socky Goodness

You may be fed up with hearing about the sock, but I’m absolutely in love. This is my first sock pattern that I’ve put a lot of thought into and plan on making a pattern of it. (pssst test knitters don’t do chart three and four cause I’m going to change those) Keeping track of what I’m doing has been a bit of a challenge for good ole me who just kinda wings it a goes with the flow, but that’s what I’m doing. Once it’s all completed and such and I have it completely test knit then you can buy it! I hope. I haven’t actually worked out my webstore’s kinks and such, but hopefully you will be able to buy it! Okay I can hear you all enough of the chatter bring on the pictures. So I’m halfway through chart 2(not that, that information helps you much now does it) which is the point in which the cable starts it’s journey inward.

Work, turn to the left
Work, now turn to the right
Work, sashay shante

I can hear you all go ooooh look at that texture. This shot is just for you.

It don’t matter what you wear
They’re checkin’ out your savior faire
And it don’t matter what you do
Cause everything looks good on you …supermodel

Look at thos bump and ridges. Little morsels of colour popping out at you. BAM! BAM! BAM! The more I knit the more I fall in love with this yarn especially the colours they are just YUM! If your just tuning in the yarn is Vintage Purls Sock in Gondwana. You can buy some by clicking on the link over there ———————->>

Finally after all of that tough modeling work the sock was sweaty and dirty, and my bunny decided that it deffinitle needed a bath. she thumped and thumped when I put the sock away. Maybe I’m not the only one in love.

Subtle Beauty

A couple of months ago a random person added me to their twitter friends list and I was wary. Upon inspection I discovered with great joy that they were a jeweler specializing in Steampunk jewelry. I have since then I have checked her site weekly looking at her new items and drooling. I have commented on the beauty often to Ryan and mentioned how I would love an engagement ring from her, if she can do silver and sapphire that is. I would have said I dropped subtle hints but my hints were as subtle as a concrete baseball bat with 8 inch spikes on it two the head. Anyway recently I was on her site and saw the ring above that is just perfect in nearly every way possible. I’m not really the jewelry type of person but that ring just calls to me! Hopefully Ryan hears it’s pleas too!

In a car going far

Well I’m on my way to a conference in a car. It’s been a long time since I was on a car trip. I’m on my way up to Wanganui to speak at said conference , the conference is about diversity which seems to mean a whole lotta queers. My workshop is on transgender rights and such. can I just say that I am on a laptop in a car on the internet how cool is that! I love the vodafone vodems.

But really I’m not here to yack on about conferences and vodems. I’m here to talk about knitting. So I have been just knitting away on my Around the World socks I’m still not at the really interesting bit yet, just still two cables running down the sides of the sock, but I am so close to the part where the cables start traveling I can taste it in the air.

The Vintage Purls yarn still keeps me fascinated on what is going to happen next. I keep going oooh look at that colour, wow isn’t that pretty. I just can’t get over the look of it. Doesn’t it just make you want to sing “What a Wonderful World”?

So Monday I went into my sewing studio with the intentions to make myself a new skirt, only to find out I had a lot less fabric then I originally thought. So no skirt, but I did make this.

It’s a small project bag made out of some vintage fabrics. I really like it, which is odd because it’s not usually my colors or type of fabric.  It was easy to make it could be better done but I was getting lazy and wanted to get back to knitting, naturally.

Well we have arrived so I am going to leave you with this final shot of my favorite rabbit with a sock on her head…

I’d say I’m sorry…but I’m not

So you may have notice that right there to the right of this post is a little section of quotes. These are quotes I like or find funny. I really like having them there and feel like they let you know even more about my personality, the stuff I find interesting or funny. I am constantly updating them, due to reading new books and current events. Well recently due to Prop h8 passing I decided that there really needed to be some queer quotes added to them and I added some poignant ones, some funny ones and a few that I thought were both. After doing this I went on with my blogging and posting what I posted.

This afternoon I got an email from a woman who claims to be “a long time reader” who was emailing me cause she felt “offended and put off”. I was curious on why this was and began to read her email, well it turns out that she hit upon one of those quotes and she felt that I was preaching homosexuality at her via the quotes. the quote was the following one by Harry Benjamin

“If adjustment is necessary, it should be made primarily with regard to the position the homosexual occupies in present-day society, and society should more often be treated than the homosexual.”

I was kinda left unable to respond for a few minutes and was finally able to respond with the following:

“I’m Queer, that is who I am, the quote that seems to offend you is what I see as an accurate description of the matter at hand. I’m sorry you have been offended by the quote appearing at my blog, but I have never once hidden my identity or the fact that I am queer from my blog. If homosexuality offends you so much please don’t return to my blog because to continue to read it would be hypocrisy because I am a homo and that is just a fact of my life.”

Even now writing this blog post, I have a hard time understanding that I got that email. I mean I get my fair share of nasty emails from people who find my site and are right wing Christians (not generalizing here those are the people who I actually got emails from) and get offended just because I’m queer. This woman tho she had been reading my blog for the past 8 months she said and was fine reading about all the different aspects of my life except when a random quote on my site(which could have just as easily been a Terry Prachett or Douglas Adams quote) spoke about my queerness she too offense to that.

I guess I just don’t understand people who like only portions of you. They like you cause your a knitter and young and funny but WOAH NELLY you gay, they can’t talk to you no more. It’s like finding out your friend who you have been hanging out with wear contact lenses andyou saying “Oh I can’t be friend swith you now that I know you wear contact lenses, I don’t believe the are morally right” It just all in the end comes down to the fact that some people are locked down into their beliefs and that is that. They will never get to know the pure joy of not caring what religion/ethnicity/status/sexuality a person is, instead just getting to know them.

Starting with Lust!

So the Twist Collective’s Winter Issue is up. Do I want to knit any of the patterns oh yes, yes, yes, yesss I do! Actually there isn’t much in it that I don’t want to knit, which is odd because I have never seen a magazine online or dead tree format that I could say that about. My ravelry queue has just gotten much longer. Anne has done it yet again, her farose shawl in this issue is OMGWTFBBQ beautiful! Seriously That issue is so full of beautiful that it may hurt your eyes so be careful.

It was one object in specific though that was in the nifty notions section(that may not be the actual name of the section so please don’t sue me. I’m much too lazy to go back and find the real section name.) that had me absolutely agog that I had to go to the website. It was while there that I laid my eyes upon beauty beyond all other known beauty and I fell in love/lust with this.

Is that not just the very meaning of beauty? It’s a stitch holder that you can slip a sock in progress into then screw the cap on protecting your stitches and needles. I want it very badly but considering I can’t work right now due to Immigration issues the $89.99 USD is a little above my current price range. Since all money right now has to go through Ryan I also can’t buy it on the sly. So I’m trying to convince him that it would be the most wonderful holiday gift ever! In my efforts to do just that I have cast on another pair of socks for him, using a pattern that I have been kicking around in my head for a bit. here they are, they will get more interesting a bit this is the Gondwana colourway by Vintage Purls, a local New Zealand indie dyer. Her yarns are utterly delicious and you should go buy some right now!(Especially if your name is Ryan and you live with me! I love Into the Blue, Maya, Brunswick, and Boysenberry Jive) Her colorway are all rainbow dyed so there are no colour repeat instead just surprising colour magic before you constantly!

I know what you want, you want that very sexy close up, well here it is.

That is the side view the other side is a mirror image of this one. I know it is rather boring right now but in fact it will get rather interesting soon enough I will have to keep you updated on that matter.

In other news some of you(not many tho) have donated to Ryan’s Mo for Movemeber so you get an updated photo of him with his mo halfway through the month. if you haven’t donated you can do so here.

Creativity

Ryan recently posted on his blog about working and creativity, and while reading it I got thinking. How does working a non creative job affects my creativity? How does working a creative job affect my out of “office” creativity?

I think that for me the difference between the two types of work can be huge and horrible, and depending on the specifics of each one very traumatic. I find that in my experience when I work in say and office or cafe, I end up feeling physically drained and tired. This makes it very hard at times to be creative on your down time because you just don’t have the energy. Although I think in someways this is the better of the two.

When I have a creative job, especially when it is something very limiting or specific, like say designing for a big label. What happens to me atleast during this is I find that a lot of my creativity get zapped up in the job. The career that may seem like the more preferable of the two become like a sponge sucking up all of my mind juice. At the end of the week I not only feel completely drained of all my energy but also my emotion. For months after leaving that kind of a job I can end up not doing anything more creative then whistling.

I think the Ideal situation is to be freelance and doing the art as you feel like it, selling finished objects as they are completed. The hard part of that is the money in between then.

Mo-vember!

Hey Y’all It that funny furry time of the year here in New Zealand. It’s the time of the year where men all over the country start to grow furry little nose critters… Yes It’s Movemeber, the month dedicated to growing body hair(specifically moustaches) in the name of charity. The funds raised by Movember 2008 will be split between two of the best health charities in the country. Half will go to the Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand’s Out of the Blue campaign to help men experiencing depression and the other half will go to the Cancer Society of New Zealand who need funding for existing prostate cancer research programs and men’s health programs.

Ryan has decided this year he will grow his first mo for charity! So keep a look out on this blog as I will update with Mo pictures! But in order to get pictures you have to donate, if you don’t donate then what good is him growing a Mo? Go ahead and donate HERE. Thanks for that in reward here is a picture of Ryan thus far!