Being green and devout.

I recently went to a very interesting lunchtime lecture at St Andrew’s on the Terrace called God, Gaia and Us by Lloyd Geering a really interesting New Zealand theologian. The lecture itself was primarily about how taking care of the earth was the most Christian thing you could do. I’m not Christian as many of you may know but I also have no issues with those that are thus why I was at the lecture.

It was really fascinating as  he talked though the history about how as the faiths changed our view and outlook on world changed. I sat back and just listened as Llyod explained about how the ancients polytheism  meant that they saw the earth as part of them. They respected everything part of natures in order not to cause offense to the god that was in charge of that item. They also believed that the gods walked among them, Because of all of these things we were connected to the planet all of it’s cycles and storms. As we slowly moved to monotheism from 200 CE to 1000 CE(which was the begining of a dark ages) our thought processes with from a living earth in which we were connected to, to a inanimate object that was the domain of satan and thus doomed. It was from this period on to the late nineteenth century that we created this idea that the earth didn’t matter, that it wasn’t important and thus no sins could be made against it.

I think what astounded me the most was that Llyod is a 90 year old minister and theologian and was saying Christianity kinda got it all wrong on this level and we need to be more like the Ancient Greeks and Romans. I believe he is on to something there and was very fascinated to hear what he had to say. He wasn’t saying we should all whorship 18 Gods and Goddess, but instead that perhaps God wasn’t to just be whorshipped in a church.

One of the best ways we can do the work of God and obey God is to take care of the earth he built. It is our responsibilty as the so called dominant species to make sure the earth is in good condition and well managed. Making sure to keep the air as clean as possible and that animals are protected when we need them. We cannot sit back and let more and more species become extinct. Just because we are the dominant species does not make us the most important one. There is a possibilty that many “Evangelical Christians” are too self centered to even contemplate. The possibility that if we don’t protect the earth and continue to help it thrive and thus respect the work of God that he very well may feel the need to have us removed for it’s own protection. That seems to be the path that we are headed to that one day the earth may reach a place that it cannot sustain human life and thus we may die off, leaving the world to the “lower species” again.

The Things We Do.

There is this YouTube animated video that has been around for awhile now, of a little kiwi who nails these trees to the side of a mountain. After he has all the trees where he needs them, he jumps over the edge of the cliff and pretends to fly. You see the look of joy and pleasure or being able to “fly” on his face as he stretches out his wings before fading into the mist. The ending is left vaguely open but you do hear a soft thud, which I have always understood as the poor kiwi’s death.

This video has always made me cry, it is so raw and brings up so many feelings in me. It makes me feel so real and understood. I feel like that kiwi a bird given wings two small to support my own weight and take to the air. Knowing fully well that I’m not the only one out there but that never really helps the the cause at hand. I also understand no matter how many time people bawlk and ghawf that sometimes you need to do what you need to do.

In my live there have been several of those need to do things in my life. the biggest and most shocking has probably been transition. This is my jumping off the cliff with trees nailed to it event in my life. People don’t seem to understand why I would do something so drastic. Why do you make yourself an outcast and leper to society when you could have gone on living how you were before. Living… that’s something I didn’t start doing until that July morning when I said “as of today I am going to live as female” and I did. See like the little kiwi I had to take that chance that I might die, lose my friend, lose my family, getting beaten up, or hurt all for even a days worth of feeling “right”.

I can clearly imagine the exhilaration of knowing this is how those seagulls and sparrows feel.  Knowing that even for within this moment thins are as they should be. You see I didn’t transition because I chose to, because I wanted to. I Transition despite not wanting to and because I HAD to. My choices were very limited death(if not by my own hand the just of my soul and spirit) or transition. I chose life. To be honest I don’t regret my choice at all. It isn’t always the easiest life, but it is an interesting and adventurous life. It has taken me to place and introduced me to people I would have never known otherwise. Is it the life I would have chosen? No, but someone’s got to do it, and it might as well be me.  I’m happy and to me that’s what counts.

I’d say I’m sorry…but I’m not

So you may have notice that right there to the right of this post is a little section of quotes. These are quotes I like or find funny. I really like having them there and feel like they let you know even more about my personality, the stuff I find interesting or funny. I am constantly updating them, due to reading new books and current events. Well recently due to Prop h8 passing I decided that there really needed to be some queer quotes added to them and I added some poignant ones, some funny ones and a few that I thought were both. After doing this I went on with my blogging and posting what I posted.

This afternoon I got an email from a woman who claims to be “a long time reader” who was emailing me cause she felt “offended and put off”. I was curious on why this was and began to read her email, well it turns out that she hit upon one of those quotes and she felt that I was preaching homosexuality at her via the quotes. the quote was the following one by Harry Benjamin

“If adjustment is necessary, it should be made primarily with regard to the position the homosexual occupies in present-day society, and society should more often be treated than the homosexual.”

I was kinda left unable to respond for a few minutes and was finally able to respond with the following:

“I’m Queer, that is who I am, the quote that seems to offend you is what I see as an accurate description of the matter at hand. I’m sorry you have been offended by the quote appearing at my blog, but I have never once hidden my identity or the fact that I am queer from my blog. If homosexuality offends you so much please don’t return to my blog because to continue to read it would be hypocrisy because I am a homo and that is just a fact of my life.”

Even now writing this blog post, I have a hard time understanding that I got that email. I mean I get my fair share of nasty emails from people who find my site and are right wing Christians (not generalizing here those are the people who I actually got emails from) and get offended just because I’m queer. This woman tho she had been reading my blog for the past 8 months she said and was fine reading about all the different aspects of my life except when a random quote on my site(which could have just as easily been a Terry Prachett or Douglas Adams quote) spoke about my queerness she too offense to that.

I guess I just don’t understand people who like only portions of you. They like you cause your a knitter and young and funny but WOAH NELLY you gay, they can’t talk to you no more. It’s like finding out your friend who you have been hanging out with wear contact lenses andyou saying “Oh I can’t be friend swith you now that I know you wear contact lenses, I don’t believe the are morally right” It just all in the end comes down to the fact that some people are locked down into their beliefs and that is that. They will never get to know the pure joy of not caring what religion/ethnicity/status/sexuality a person is, instead just getting to know them.

Creativity

Ryan recently posted on his blog about working and creativity, and while reading it I got thinking. How does working a non creative job affects my creativity? How does working a creative job affect my out of “office” creativity?

I think that for me the difference between the two types of work can be huge and horrible, and depending on the specifics of each one very traumatic. I find that in my experience when I work in say and office or cafe, I end up feeling physically drained and tired. This makes it very hard at times to be creative on your down time because you just don’t have the energy. Although I think in someways this is the better of the two.

When I have a creative job, especially when it is something very limiting or specific, like say designing for a big label. What happens to me atleast during this is I find that a lot of my creativity get zapped up in the job. The career that may seem like the more preferable of the two become like a sponge sucking up all of my mind juice. At the end of the week I not only feel completely drained of all my energy but also my emotion. For months after leaving that kind of a job I can end up not doing anything more creative then whistling.

I think the Ideal situation is to be freelance and doing the art as you feel like it, selling finished objects as they are completed. The hard part of that is the money in between then.

procasti….oh i’ll do that later

What did I do yesterday?

- I organized my desk.

- I made a pot of tea.

- I watched the second series of The Catherine Tate Show.

- I decorated my desk with blue tinsel.

- I asked Ryan what he was doing 327 times.

- I posted 42 posts on ravelry.

- I clicked refresh on ravelry 2,891 times.

- I knit one row on the back of my asymmetrical jacket.

- Read some of “No Plot? No Problem?”

- I fondled some yarn in my stash and planned another cardigan.

- Organized my desk again.

- Researched the nutritional fact of Orange Juice.

- Took blue tinsel down deciding that it looks naff.

- Pondered the oddity of the word “juice”

- Watched more Catherine Tate.

- Put blue tinsel back up after realizing I *AM* naff so thus the tinsel fits in!

- I finally sat down and tried to write for NaNoWriMo.

What didn’t I do?

- Finalise my plot details or character details yet for NaNoWriMo

- Clean of the bench from the part on Friday night!

I should get up and clean the bench then finalise my plot and character details…

Bah I will do that later!

Feeling…

Lately I have been feeling rather like it’s time for a change, so I updated the look of my website. I think It’s rather swell, but then again I designed it. So I have had a website for a year and this blog now for a year. It’s interesting originally I thought I was going to make both the website and my blog strictly for my fashion design but in the past year I have noticed that I really need a website the encompasses all of me, the activist, the fashion designer, the performer, the web designer, the writer, all of me. So keep a look out in the next couple of weeks for a new format and some new content.

Speaking of web work I have too many sites to do and I just got one more!! But I hope to have one of them done soon, and thus be able to move on to the other ones.

In other news sometime in the last few weeks my brain fell out of my head and turn to a liquid that was asorbed into the carpet. I know you aksing your self “what the bloody hell is she on about?” Well in a great moment of stupidity I signed up for NaNoWriMo and if that wasn’t enough I decided that I would do al the writing in blog form. So if you want to read the nonsense that I will be writing throughout November please feek free to follow my blog over at http://brooklynnemichelle.com/grrrlshapedthing.

On this night!

On this night a year ago I was on a plane over the dark night waters of the pacific ocean. When I got off that plane I was met by a wonderful man who I was madly in love with. I still love him with all my heart and soul! This last year in New Zealand has been awesome and amazing in so many wonderfule ways!

So here is to new beginings!

New lives!

New friends!

New family!

Here’s to the next year, and the one after that!

We Need Change.

(an apology to my Non-New Zealand readers, this is focused at New Zealanders)

Now many people may not understand that  young fashionista who desires the newest parada bag or those gorgeous marc jacobs shoes(if they only were in her size) would be a big supporter of the green party.  That is due to an “image” that people have of fashionista’s. That we are young, thin, and self obsessed, okay so maybe you got me on the last one, but in the fashion world I might as well be 90, and um thin I am not.

Well despite or maybe because of my self  obsession I care about the enviroment, and the future of the earth itself. I have dreams and desires that goes beyond handbags, shoes, and frocks( I know I was just as shocked as you to realize it) desires to have children, and furthermore grandchildren to be able to play with them in the rivers and woods. Desires to watch the children of today grow up to be the parents of tomorrow, and not have to worry about running out of water, air, oil, the earth.

It is apparent as this election looms nearer, it has become apparent to me that only one party is clearly thinking not only of our children, our grandchildren or even out great-grandchilden, but of their great-grandchildren. Thinking of the planet as a whole and understand tax breaks and more money will mean nothing if we have no planet to live on. Understanding this is the only planet we have and there is no trade in policy on it like your new Prius. It is agreed that New Zealand needs a change I just hope you can see like I do that the change we need is Green

I have been tagged!

Dianne has tagged me to reveal 6 random facts about myself. Here they are:

1. I really like trees, and find them fansinating and often take random pictures of random trees I like. I can feel the spirits inside old trees and feel like I can hear their stories and tales of their life. I really love this tree that is right next to my work.
   
2. I am 25% Native American, and am really into that part of my heritage. My tribe is the Potawatomi, and I really want to learn the language seeing as it is slowly dying out. Only a few of the elders still speak it and it has only been written down for the past 40 years or so. The only problem is that I would have to go back to Michigan to learn Potawatomi
3. I have been knitting and crocheting for more than half my life I learned when I was about 12 which was 15 years ago. It really pisses me off when people assume I have learned to knit within the past few years.
4. Among many things I am a writer and have been working on a novel for the past year or so, I haven’t actually started to write much of it, mostly I have been doing research for it. It’s amazing how much work goes into a simple sci-fi/fantasy novel
5. I love music more than anything else in my life, and one of my biggest dissapointments of life is that I am not actually musical in anyway. I can’t carry a tune or play an instrument tho I have tried both. I also love just about any type of music. My ultimate favorites would have to be Punk, Jazz, Country, Musicals and Opera
6. I don’t really believe in having idols and heros, I try to make sure that the person I consider a hero or an idol is myself. I am happy to state this is actually a reality for me too I think despite all the adversary and crap I have had to deal with, that I can function, survive, and even have a postive outlook on life is absolutely amazing!

Now the people I choose to tag are: Melissa, Ryan, Anne, Duffy. Krys, and Stephen

Here are the rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post.
5. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know your entry is up.

—-

In other news this hopefully means I will be back posting more often….

Why Anne WHHHY? Oh and check out this author!

Anne has done it again! She has designed yet another piece that just makes me twinge with need to knit it! I don’t really have the time or need to knit a lacy nothing right now, I need a warm something as the chill of winter pervades my every bone. Yet Alhambra (the rusty red one) calls to me, in a soft ghostly whisper “Brooooooooooooooklynne knit me please! *whimper* Brooklynne save meee from the torment of not being knit! Brooklynne, Broooooooklyne Broooooooooooooooooklynne” It’s maddening! Anne how do you do it? How do you make such compelling items to knit? How many of your patterns do I own? More than I would like to think about!

So instead I have been reading, mostly these books, which are a trilogy, by one of my favorite Science Fiction authors. Melissa Scott writes some of the most intense interesting science fiction I have ever encountered. Her work is often very thought provoking and often challenges your mind to open up more and more. She creates dystopian worlds that are amazingly intricate and complex but doesn’t bombard you with inane details, she doesn’t describe bright blue suns with green skies that go on and one for pages. She tells you what you need to know to understand the story and nothing more beyond that. Which is wonderful because it allows your brain to fill in the gaps if you feel the need to.

I’m not very science minded so one of the things that i like about all of he books is that new sciences that she has created are always explained in a way that I can understand them. By this I don’t mean they are simple explanations, but straight forward and yet again telling you only the important stuff as you need to know it. An example I can specifically think of is in one of her books people connect to the internet by interfacing through cables that plug into your head and then you are in the “net” much like virtual reality. Well when she explains this in the internet she doesn’t go into great detail about how the wires are connected to your brain or how things interface etc. which I often feel are really just unimportant details that often cause my eyes to gloss over. Another great feature of the way she write about technology is that she doesn’t go on and on for pages about the technology for no reason at all, and never just to show off that she’s smarter than you ,like I feel many Sci-Fi authors do. The phrase that I say over and over that I think is really the great part of her books is that you get told what you need to know when you need to know it, and not a moment sooner!

But oh the plots, the plots are what really make her books ace! With worlds and scenarios that are up there with Margaret Atwood but taken to places Margaret is to conservative to go. The plots are intense and twisted often without a clear villain, but more a group of people that are more problematic the pure evil. I hate that in many Sci-Fi books they are these epic adventures with huge goals the crush massive evil, in a way that when the book ends you don’t really care about what happens afterwards to the characters. Melissa’s books aren’t like that, they are fantastic journeys with people on regular events in their lives, sometimes you are 200 pages into the book before you find out what the main event is supposed to be. Some authors this would make the begin drag and the end seem rushed, but Melissa does it in such a way that it mirrors life and is believable. Where some books a riot that is important to the books would happen in the beginning and the novel would focus on those fights happening, Melissa teasingly holds the riot till the last chapter, letting the tension build even within you, really exemplifying the feelings of the people. She draws great complexities within those tensions and shows you the softer side of the “villain” shows’ you the fears he’s reacting on, the fears that make him become the “bad guy” in such a way that you can’t help pity him. She draws this out in glimpses of several peoples perspectives so you don’t feel like life is dragging on, but more so that when that first brick flies, or that first shot is made you want to do the same and join them.

When you come to the last page everything isn’t tied up in a pretty little bow for you. It’s raw It’s imperfect, there are things that have been certain characters goals from the first page you met them that have not been achieved. Sexual tensions between other characters that your sure are going to end up together never end up together. the ending are so rough, tense, and emotional that I often find myself crying. The thing that sticks out the most for many of Melissa’s books is that the ending rings true to life, reminds you that this isn’t the end but just where you have to stop watching. Even though that having to stop often makes your heart ache that in itself reminds you how well written these books are.

I was going to go into a review of these books but i have a feeling that should wait for another time seeing how long this post has gotten so far! So I guess instead I leave you with this picture of yarny goodness that I will talk about in a post to come! If you want to check out any or Melissa’s books I encourage you to do so at amazon.com, I deffinatly recommend the Silence Leigh Trilogy(Five Twelfths of Heaven, Silence in Solitude, and The Empress of Earth), Shadow Man, Night Sky Mine, and The Shape Of Their Hearts(this one isn’t perfect but really gets you thinking!)

So go have a read and tell me what you think!

P.S. There is alsoa crazy pastor by the same name… :-p i find that just hilarious!