Sorry it has taken so long.

Sorry it has taken so long.

This post is for a dear friend and family member that left our household in September. It’s taken me a long time to be okay enough to write this post.

In early August my husband and my pet rabbit started to get very sick, she was wheezing, at first we thought she had a chest cold so she went on antibiotics, those didn’t work and we tried more antibiotics. When those didn’t work we had X-Rays done. The X-Rays show fluid in her lungs and upon further checking it turn out she had slight heart failure that was causing the fluid build up. So she went on a diuretic and heart medication.

Unfortunately those medicines did not work either and she was having a hard time breathing and thus wasn’t eating and was dropping weight. We had to have her put down which was the hardest and most painful thing I have ever done in my life. Even now three months later my throat constricts and tears develop in my eyes.

She was more than a rabbit, she was a sister, a friend, a child, and a mentor. She taught me to relax and have fun when I was stressed out. She could be the sweetest most loving adorable creature you have ever seen and the next second be a complete brat. I know that she loved my husband and I, just as much a we loved her. I wish she could have gone out feeling less panicked and stressed, but there is little I can do about that. I feel so lucky to have had her in my life, and so happy she had me in hers. I know she’s over the rainbow bridge now harassing a few saints, possibly telling G-d how to run things. If you all of a sudden notice cabbage and carrots start becoming weeds it’s cause she got her way.

Charlie’s Angel you were the best friend I could ever ask for.

Birthdays and Dragons

Birthdays and Dragons

My birthday is coming up, actually it’s next Monday. I don’t know why but I still have an absolute childish glee around my birthday. When I was working I always made sure I had the day off. I would often spoil myself rotten and and get a manicure and take myself out to dinner and maybe even a deliciously wonderful film that I knew only I would want to go to.

Even now as a young newly-wed trying to live on one salary while waiting for immigration to decide if I can work and live in NZ for another two years I find myself looking forward to it. I know we won’t be going out to dinner and I won’t be doing a day of luxury, all manicures in this house are DIY. Part of what excites me is that this is my first birthday with my husband and I’m actually rather looking forward to being 30 (I’m only turning 29 this year). Every birthday I have now is a reminder that I’ve spent another year with my amazing husband.

I did make myself something a bit special for my birthday I tatted myself a dragon! Now I’m not a huge fan of dragons, and I know there are some amazing patterns for dragons out there, but this guy was too adorable. He reminded me a lot of Pete’s dragon a childhood favourite film. So I introduce to you Brookie’s dragon!

He’s Martha Ess’s paprika pattern done in navy DMC perle 8 with silver lined beads(whichare a bit too big but oh well)  I then permanently stiffened him with gel acrylic(same stuff they put on nails) to use as a bookmark thus why he has a super long tail. I will definitely be making more of these in the future!

P.S. thanks for all the well wishes, I’m still absolutely pathetically sick sleeping most of the day.

A whole lot of tatting

A whole lot of tatting

The thing with being confined to bed for weeks at a time is there isn’t much you can do. If you happen to also have ADHD like myself it can very quickly drive you up the wall.  Luckily I’ve had a drawer fulla tatting to keep me company. I haven’t got a whole lot of things completed like one would expect, mostly cause my energy starts to wane after a few rings and chains but here’s what I’ve been up to.

Tatting 002 

This is my one and only completed item, a simple collar tatted with DMC cotton perle 8 which is all I had at the time. I think this needs a bit of a starching and blocking again.

Tatting 003

This is a border That I have made up as I went along. It’s tatted in Twilleys size 20 crochet cotton and I’m not too fond of the thread it keeps twisting and turning and in general being a PITA

Tatting 004

Finally I have this an edging from Bessie M. Attenborough’s The Craft Of Tatting. I’m really liking how this is coming along I think I might make it a hankie edging. It is tatted in vintage coats mercerised cotton size 20 I originally didn’t like this thread because it was so stiff but have grown to appreciate the crisp look it creates.

Returning to the scene…

I had this nice long post on how I was so very sorry that I haven’t posted in ages and that I would try to be better. as I was reading through it I started to feel guilty and ashamed, then I realized this was my blog! I often seem to end up needing to take month long(or several months long) breaks and I should be okay with that no one needs me to be in here blogging when I don’t want to be.

I’m still sick spending a lot of time in bed wishing I could breathe a bit better, my head didn’t feel so groggy or I could just open my eyes.  It sucks to have my battle of the mind and depression under control only to have a body that is completely unwilling.

I’ve been slowly winding skeins for the yarn club and orders but I can only get about two skeins wound before I just about collapse so everything is continually going slower than I hope. I have been doing some stitching but not as much as you would expect from someone who is bed/sofa bound 5 out of 7 days. I will have to show you all what I have been up to while I was away!

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This supposedly had posted two weeks ago but there is NO sign of it ANYWHERE on my blog so I’m reposting it now!

Living with depression

I like to think that one of the things you all like about this blog (when it’s being written in that is) is that I have always been open and frank with you. I have talked about my dark days and rough times.

I have been sick since the 20th of March, not your normal cold or flu but something that just drains ALL of my energy. I also get headaches and general aches and pains. There have been times when I can barely move with the pain, or times when it keeps me up at night. This has been dreadful, and degrading, I spend 5 out of 7 days barely able to move and the others I’m playing frantic catch-up. This is extremely rare occurrence for me because I usually have a very naturally high immune system, very rarely get sick and when I do it’s for a mater of days compared to other peoples weeks.

This only makes my depression worse no matter what medications I’m on, It makes me feel useless and pathetic, and like I’m incapable of doing the simplest things. Unfortunately this is a cycle the sicker I get the more I get depressed. I have to just get up and say NO I’m not pathetic, or useless just because I’m sick, everyone gets sick.

I just hope I get better… soon.

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